new yuck ep

by e harrison

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1.
01:54
2.
02:35
3.
02:21
4.
02:23
5.
03:46

credits

released January 21, 2016

special thanks to jp melville

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e harrison Richmond, Virginia

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Track Name: roswell
you vacuumed up your fathers ashes
the night before your mom arrived
you said that jar's always been empty
but she knew that you were lying
somethings growing in the darkness
that divides the two of us
you are standing outside my house
but i'm on a greyhound bus

no one's blaming you for leaving
though you left an awful hole
i am following your footprints in the snow

brakelights backed up past the overpass
so you call back your dad
he has gotten so much better
at trying not to be dead
under incandescent porchlights
you try telling me the truth
two years later i open a drawer
and find your baby tooth

no one's asking me about you
they stopped several months ago
i am following your footprints in the snow
Track Name: vic
yelling up at your window
i can see the dim reflection of your profile
and i know you won’t forgive me this time

maybe cassie is still awake but she lives a million blocks from here
i’d have to take the 6 and transfer twice
and i’m broke
so good night

and i swear to god i’m trying (x3)
but i think i might be dying

what’d i do to deserve this
is what you wrote on my bathroom mirror
and before i’d woken up, you left at last
and you never came back

and i swear to god i’m trying (x3)
but i think i might be dying
Track Name: gett better
i burned out too fast—i'm 21 and i still
drive like i miss the taste of airbag dust on fake leather
gas station coffee so i don't fall asleep.
i only smoke until the split-second you finally let go.

and if you never leave me, if you never leave me
i will never get better, i'll never get better
and if you ever worried you will never catch me trying to say
that if you don't believe me, if you don't believe me
i will never get better i'll never get better
and if i never loved you, there was never hope for me anyway

coughing up blood into a papery napkin
lay it down on the bar, goddamn i'm exhausted
your paper-thin voice rots away on the inbox
of a flip-phone in a drawer i haven't opened in months

and if you never leave me, if you never leave me
i will never get better, i will never get better
and if i wasn't trying it would hardly be worthwhile to say
that if you don't believe me, if you don't believe me
i will never get better i'll never get better
and if i never loved you i was never worth trying to save

when i moved away i couldn't figure it out
it's the same damn thing all over again
you're moving your mouth, i don't remember your voice
all i hear is the noise of me revving the engine
Track Name: samourai
if it hurts too much
if you can’t convince yourself it’s time to give up
bite down hard. try to leave a scar.

when the drainpipes fill
when your eyes glaze over and you finally are still
at least we got this far, at least we got this far.

the desert air whips through the windows and you haven’t looked at me in an hour
if i could crawl in through your eyes i’d find the memories of me and i’d tear them, all out
but then you whisper to yourself:
what was i thinking at the start

when the moon comes up
when you feel like everything’s become too much
you don’t have to let me know. i’ll figure it out on my own.

cos i think it’s plain
to see i can’t be saved
i’ve got to fight it off myself but i would rather go to hell.

and in the windshield i can see the pale reflection of the one i hate most
but you are fighting with your body as i’m wishing i could kill my own ghost
and when you say it, we both know
this is the end of me as well.
this is the end of me as well
Track Name: accept me
instrumental

excerpts from 2010-2011 diary entries